Pay No Attention to the Chick on the Floor

When I turned 21 three of my uncles took me to Las Vegas to celebrate. I remember a lot from that trip. Blisters from my new Keds, drinking Zima while walking down the strip, their obsession in learning how to play Craps, and fainting on a backstage tour of Folies Bergere. My one uncle, UK, loves to impersonate said fainting spell. That was one of only two times I fainted. The other was in July of 1999 while waiting to see Fosse on Broadway. It was 1,000,000 degrees and I was pregnant.

Fainting is weird. I felt cold all of a sudden and then, down I went. You can hear everything going on around you, but you can't quite get a handle on things.

Today, during my 10th period U.S. History class, a class in which I HATE with a passion, a student came up to me after having donated blood 30 minutes earlier said, "Ms. I don't feel good. I can't breathe and it's really hot in here."

"Ok D, I just saw the dean's assistant (DA) let's get you to the nurse."

I walk out to the hall flag down the DA and tell him to get this girl to the nurse. I turn around and say, "D....D? Where'd she go?" Then real nonchalant like one of my students says, "She's on the ground. I think she fainted."

"Didn't anyone think to call for me or say anything?"

"She looks ok."

"Really, can I see your license to practice medicine?"

At this point the DA comes in and I say go get a wheelchair and the nurse I can't pick her up myself and she isn't responding to me. Now, I was pretty calm. She was breathing and I could tell that she was going to be ok. In the mean time, the DA comes back with a wheelchair and no nurse. "Where's the nurse?"

"She said she's busy."

"Go back and get her. I can't wake her up!"

Now the kids start stepping over her putting their stuff away. Laughing at her and telling me I should pour water on her. One kid walks by and says, "You can tell she's faking it her eyes are blinking." Then others begin debating if she is conscious, unconscious or conscientious. Because, "I get those words confused."

I swear to God I just wanted to pop this kid straight in the face and cause him to pass out. Finally, the nurse shows up and asks the student's name and proceeds to have me, 3 minutes before the bell rings for the end of the day, have my students exit the room. This girl is laying at the front of the room and now 28 kids begin stepping over her while the nurse stands by. I was so dumbfounded by what was going on I just walked in the hall and let it all unfold. They close the door to the room get her in the wheelchair and proceed to wheel her by in a "roll of shame".

This was one of those days when I tell myself, "There's got to be a better place for me."