Lessons Learned From A Hooker

We own a lot of movies. Mostly on DVD but there are a few VHS throwbacks. Much like I remember getting my first CD (a post for later) I remember getting the first movie I would own. It was Christmas of 1990 and I was a freshman at BU. I received this movie in a basket with microwave popcorn, Raisinets and other movie accoutrements. The movie was Pretty Woman. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this movie. I knew/know the lines and I so wanted a millionaire to sweep me off my feet and take me on a plane to an opera and watch polo matches. Surprisingly, this is not how life works. However, something happened at work yesterday that made a Pretty Woman connection for me.

Okay, you now the part in Pretty Woman where Vivian and Edward are in bed talking. This is after a day at the polo match. Vivian threatens to leave because Edward told Phillip (George Kastanza) that she was a hooker and then Phillip hits on her. She says, "I have never felt so cheap in my life!" Then Edward says, "I doubt that." and some other mean stuff like, "...you are indeed a hooker!!!" She bolts for the door, he apologizes and then they have sex. Post-coital she is telling her life story and it goes something like this.

Vivian: When I was in high school my mom said I was a bum magnet. If there was a bum within a mile radius I would fall for him. That's how I ended up here. I followed Bum #3. I got a job as a waitress, parked cars at wrestling...and I couldn't make the rent. That's when I met Kit. She was a hooker and made it sound great. The first time I cried the entire time. Then I got a couple of regulars....it's not like this is anybody's childhood dream.

Edward: You could be so much more.

Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?

Edward: I think you have a lot of special gifts.

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This brings me to the title of this post. Do you even remember it? I saw a few of my students yesterday rubbing the pregnant tummy of my 15 year old student giggling and smiling about "how cool it is". Cool? Yes, remember when you were in high school 15 years old dating at 28 year old and pregnant with his baby? I thought of that Pretty Woman scene and remembered listening to one of my students talking with her friends in my room during my prep. They informed me that being pregnant at 15 isn't bad because she loves her boyfriend and babies love you. Sad, I know. So here is my teenage version of Pretty Teen Mother. Maybe it would go something like this...

So I dated a few boys in middle school and none of them seemed worthy of being my baby daddy. Then I met Maria. She was a teen mother and made it sound great. Showers, friends rubbing your belly, pooping on the birthing table, milk leaking during 7th period. How could I resist? I mean, Jesus said he'd always be there for me. If it weren't for his bitch of an ex-girlfriend who kept calling claiming he was her baby daddy life would have been perfect. Now he's in prison for 8 years I am lucky if he even sends me money for diapers.

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